Do I do it for joy or to be loved?
When we do things for ourselves, we are generous. This is weird but true. We are generous of who we are, we are generous of the happiness we feel when doing them (even when they are meant for someone else!) When I feel happy doing something, I let go of myself and of expectations.
Doing something for others often means wondering what to do and how to do it so that others will love us. And under the guise of generosity, we are egocentric. I don't judge, I've done it (and I still do #bummer). I asked myself thousands of questions on the best way to do things, not for me, but for others. "Is it nice enough? How will it be received? Will they be happy? Touched? Changed?" But all these questions in the end are only about me. Will I be loved, will I get what I need if I do this? This isn't really generous.
I really think it is time to redefine what is generous and what is not. And to think about how we can love and trust ourselves enough to forget ourselves for a while, to be truly generous. Generous of who we are, and in our actions.
So, am I happy doing this for the sake of it, or because I want to "give" something (that will consciously or not expect something in return) ?