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  • Writer's pictureClara BL

This choice or this choice, or that choice?

Make a choice. Am I the only one with a cold sweat reading this sentence?

This is a recurring subject for me, and it has been a pain in my magnificent *** for a LONG TIME now. #ThankYouLife I don't know about you, but for me choosing between mayo or ketchup is already quite a miracle. #KetchupOrMayo #ImpossibleChoice

So I was thinking, about choice (tell me, do you feel like I think too much?? #IThinkTooMuch). When I make a choice, this isn't the choice in itself that is difficult, this is the uncertainty, this is the possibility to get it wrong, this is what I give up when I do it. If I choose to listen to that song, I miss every other that I could have listened to, but don't, and maybe never will. Awful, right? Maybe I actually don't feel like listening to that song? If I choose to practice Yoga this morning, I don't cook, and food is important too. #CompetingPriorities If I choose this event, I miss lots of others. #FOMO

We've been presented abundance of possibilities as abundance of happiness. And this is not true. Slowly, I realize the impact of that belief on my life. I lose myself in possibilities, and I buy into the idea that making a choice is losing abundance. I've believed for a long time each choice was so important that it was almost impossible to choose between a pizza & a burger. #FoodLove #DifficultChoice #ThisWillChangeMyLife And abundance of possibilities isn't a guarantee we won't make a mistake. It's not because I've been presented with ALL possible options that I will make a better choice.For me, that's pretty much the opposite. #Confusion #ExhaustiveOptions

So, just as a small reminder: no, choosing Mint Fresh or Extreme White toothpaste IS NOT going to change your life, it is not going to make you a happier person, it is not going to change the world, it's okay to choose one or the other. I am not saying small choices don't have impacts on our lives, but we just can't do everything, we can't think of thousands questions before buying jam. (Yes, this is a real example! You are not allowed to make fun of me.) #LiveMyLife #StrawberryOrRaspeberry #OrAnotherFlavor

I've been making choices that were not the right ones for me, because I got lost in possibilities. I lost my marks. By giving too much importance to every little choice in my life, I lost my power. I lost my ability to actually make small choices that might make a difference, my ability to listen to myself, to my still small voice, to my intuition. Sometimes, it's okay to limit our choices, just because it makes our life easier and that abundance or happiness is still not in the number of options.

One thing that really helped me on the subject in @SarahWilson's book First we make the beast beautiful is the idea that whatever the initial options, we make our choice become the best one. We make it right. #Anxiety

I try to make choices because they bring me joy. I don't give each choice as much importance as I used to, I know I can change my mind if something doesn't suit me. And if I can't, I mean, it's hard to get a change of clothes from those black jeans to that yellow dress in the middle of an appointment, I'll survive. We generally survive our choices, even the bad ones. And let's be honest, the idea that our choices have consequence (often unexpected, obviously, what the fun in expected) is quite frightening.

Because, making a choice, is being okay with the consequences. Am I aware of the options that I don't choose by making this choice? And am I fine with it? Am I aware that this choice will have consequences I can't anticipate? A choice also means uncertainty. And learning to be fine with uncertainty, this is f*cking difficult. #AnxiousType In the end, I don't believe we regret things we don't do. I believe we regret half-choices, non-choices. Not making a choice is also making one. We can decide not to do or say something aware of all the consequences and be at ease with it.

This is still difficult for me to make choice, I'm not gonna lie. I'd still love to be sure. Sure I'm making the right one, sure I'm aligned with myself, sure of the consequences. But this isn't possible. We live with our choices. We learned with our choices, we can't learn when we don't choose. More each day, I'm ready to live with the consequences, even unexpected, of my choices, and to learn what needs to be learned if it turns out it was a mistake. Maybe by making more & more choices I learn confidence. I think the price of choosing is being okay with our own mistakes. So I accept. At least, I'll know I did my best.

There is still a part of me that wants to do everything, to see everything, to be everywhere at the same time,that wants to be infinite. But, I am human, I am limited... As a human, I can only move forward in one direction at a time. #DailyWisdomHello I kind of laughed when writing this sentence... Oh well, yes, that's silly! This is very funny too. That I forgot it, and I remember now.

I can try to do everything at the same time, but I am not moving forward, I am going in every direction, and in the end, I am still right where I began. If I don't choose, I stay where I am.

And I'm not saying it's easy; again, we face the consequences of our choices, and sometimes we are not ready for them. But I know I get freedom from making choices. Because I can use my energy finding ways to make it the best choice, instead of losing it in thousands non-choices. And I find abundance on the way. It starts now with one thing. It's simple. (And not easy, yes, I know!) So what is your choice for now?

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