I am an example : How to be a good example
Did you too think "Who (optionnal : the hell) does she think she is ?" when you read that title ?
This was definitely my first thought this morning when I got the idea for the article. (Is it always in the shower for you as well or is it just me ? #showeridea)
The idea came up and immediatly I thought "Seriously, Clara, don't you think it's a little pretentious, who do you think you are ? The sun doesn't shine out of your arse !" (the french version of this saying would be "to fart above your ass", which was funny as I had just farted... Anyway!)
That's why I told myself "Well, we are going to be an example right now !" I’ll apply to my own damn self the beautiful words I shared in the self-celebration workshop when we talked about celebrating ourselves and the fear of looking pretentious.
These are the words :
We are not here to play small. Recognizing and celebrating our qualities is NOT pretentious, this is the basis of self-care. And the basis of generosity. [...]
And what I keep in mind from this is I am not here to avoid looking pretentious, I am here to do what I feel called to do. And if what I want to do is be an example, let's forking do it !
Now, what does it mean to be an example, cause, it's all very well but what are we talking about exactly ?
Actually, what does it mean to YOU to be an example ? Take a minute. (And if you have ideas, please share, I love stealing ideas - I am an artist after all too ;))
I'll start with sharing what I think THIS IS NOT.
When I wonder how to be an example (and it's not THAT often, okay ?), I don't think about what I have to do to be considered like one. I don't think about what I have to do because everyone esle should do it too. #howtohavethesamestinkyshitaseveryoneelse #fun
Being an example, this is NOT showing a way of being and making it the only one.
When I wonder how to be an example, I wonder how I can be more myself. I believe that's the only of being a good example.
Knowing full well, that no one can be me AND that most people don't actually give a shit about what it is like to be me.
(Unless you are a curious weirdo like me, wondering : What is this like to be this person walking in the street with a bothered look on their face ?)
To me, being an example, means showing a way of being, thinking and doing things that might support other people in finding their own way of being, thinking and doing things.
Being an example to me, is being in integrity with myself as much as I can, and continue to learn and apply my discoveries to my own journey. Maybe this journey is similar to yours, maybe it is not.
I also benefit from being an example.
(I mean besides plumping up my already oversized ego, of course !)
When someone emphasizes something I have done like "Oh, it was so interesting watching you ask if you could join the conversation before sitting down with them. I'm often uneasy when I don't know if a conversation is private or not. I never would have thought of asking this way", it allows me to see how I evolve, it offers me more awareness of what I do and I get the opportunity to check if I go in a direction that I like and create the world I want to live in.
And what I like about the idea of being an example, is I am an example all the time. (It's also a little frightenning now that I think about it 😅). We all are examples all the time.
I am not only an example when I am dead serious talking about highly spiritual pursuits, ou when I encourage people to be themselves, or when I sing beautifully, or when I write inspiring posts. I also am an example when I write utterly ininteresting or out of touch posts, when I do my silly little happiness dance each time I open a door of my Advent Calendar (yes, this is 2023 and we dance every opportunity we get, we need it !), when I fart in the shower, when I don't know how to communicate, when I treat myself poorly, when I make an ass out of myself, when I talk to myself instead of talking to others, when I feel stupid, say silly things, is mean, is alive. I am just ONE example.
We all are example. Examples of what it can look like to be alive. Isn't it an amazing idea ?!
And an example is never born in a vacuum. I can be an example because I had examples too. Examples I take ideas from and make my own. Examples I chose and relate to.
We all are someone's example. Let's be pretentious together, shall we ? :)