I never wish bad things to people. I only wish for them to be happy, because I believe that if they are happy, it’s less likely they will act as dicks. At least, that's the idea of me I like.
wever, it’s normal to be mad at people who hurt us, and to feel like punching them right in the middle of the face in what could only be described as the most beautiful punch ever or to pull their nose hairs out one by one with tweezers until they die (that’s the whole point right? I’m a bit extreme maybe, whoops!) I mean, who never wanted that?? Honestly, a few months ago, I could have totally said me. But I was kind of just lying to myself, not acknowledging that damn it hurts and I felt like hurting and destroying too.
It’s not pretty really, actually, it’s quite ugly, and not only am I angry, but it makes me angry to be angry. #fun
I mean… This is REALLY not me to want to go to someone’s place with the express purpose of methodically destroying everything that crosses my path until there is nothing left in one piece. That's normal for others, but it’s not very spiritually evolved, you’ll agree.
And still, I feel the anger is here, and I won’t keep acting like it was not. #pressurecookerexploding And at the same time, it’s quite scary, let’s be honest. When you are Miss I’ll find excuses to the whole wide world, realizing our boundaries have been crossed and that we quietly put ourselves aside saying “Sorry, oh no, really, that’s on me, my feet are too big for my body no wonder you step on them, I’ll just move, really sorry,” it’s not pleasant.
Even less so when all these boundaries that have limits that have been breached, and all the anger it caused, have been gently put under the rug, and it now makes a mountain so high, you’re gonna need a bigger rug to cover it all. #tsunami I’ve dealt with emotional tsunamis, but anger is a whole new thing.
Imagining the worst horror movie scenarios (I hate them but for my information, I could definitely start watching) between “just” choking someone or sending them killers with a smiley mask of our face to hunt them to the end of the world (thanks @kawolinem !) it’s nicely relaxing. By the way, how sophisticated and mean the scenarios that cross our minds (they’re just passing through of course) are seems to be quite a good indicator of how far our boundaries have been pushed. That’s a pretty accurate measure of the size of the rug needed to cover it all up, but we stop doing it, right! If today my boundaries are not respected, I can use my anger to make it so. That’s a destructive force but also a beautiful one. That’s a driving force. This is an indication about ourselves, respecting our anger is a way to love and respect ourselves. I won’t find excuses anymore and push my anger aside. There is no space for excuses when it comes to taking care of ourselves. Even less so for the ones we find others! While my yearning to punch people washes through me until it subsides, I am going to write the next tweezers massacre.